Today has been super productive! In the evening I opened up my room to anybody who wanted a workspace, and go 0 response, but hey. It worked for me!
- crafted and sent 4 emails to organizations in Tucson I’ve worked with before asking for a phone call to discuss potential summer opportunities
- emailed a volunteer coordinator about a position at Atlin Music and Arts Festival, my favorite Canadian music fest!
- spent an hour cleaning my room (dear god it needed it), esp. my sink.
- listened to a podcast on suicide deaths in the Arctic
- got my new phone charger – somehow I came back from SXSWedu with three bases and a cord that didn’t work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- talked with Julia about a time we could meet to get lunch
- had a heart to heart with Connor over relationships / polyamory / crushes
- went to a Symposium planning session at HQ + stayed after to discuss with Capri ❤
- filed my taxes! cannot wait for that tax return!
- applied for a new passport. was not expecting it to be $130. goodbye, tax return.
- organized all RA funding things – found receipts, submitted expensify, recorded, requested the last of the budget…
- posted this blog entry, a success in its own
- journaled in my beautiful journalllllll
- began my goal matrix on my wall, finally – to celebrate the little wins, and externalize+visualize goals and steps (once #breakitdown and #gapanalysis are applied), I’m writing things on colorful paper and putting them on my wall.
- listened to quality music all day! gotta love that spotify premium. Pogo, Portugal. The Man, Moon Taxi, and now Electric Guest, just listening to their albums. Good good good.
- talked to my dad 😀
- going to bed before 1am. My sleep scedule has been off, but I hope to get it on track. (Actually no that’s a lie – I hope to get readings done the night before at least, so I can stop having to get up at 7am each morning to do them! then I could go to bed a little later, e.g. 12am (extended 1am), and wake up at 8:30.
Overall one of my most productive days lately. As soon as I thought of something, I went and go it done. And kept doing that.
I didn’t get an internship with Minerva this summer, sadly. But I also felt a sense of relief when I heard, that comes from having my freedom restored. There are so many things I want to do this summer. Having a 40 hour/week continuation of school was going to be a little hard.
I feel like I’m also breaking free of what Minerva wants me to do with my time. I’ve spent most of my life in control of much of my time, because I set it up that way. I picked schools that would allow me freedom, and exercised that control. Senior year, I ditched school every Friday and got a job.
Here, I easily spend a substantial portion of my time doing pre-class readings, class, and assignments. Other time goes to Minerva built activities and opportunities.
It’s been a little too easy to lose free will; to let such heavy structure make me forget how to find and work towards my own personal interests.
So, when Minerva announced we’d be cutting ties for the summer… I realized – I’m not doing anything they’ve designed for me. I didn’t get that fancy internship all Minervans are suppose to have. How I spend my summer is 100% in my own hands…
… and I’m relishing the power.
Which I think contributed to this heightened feeling of productivity today. Suddenly, the why –– why apply to internships, to jobs; why finish readings early, why do well on your assignments –– came from me. I wanted an internship because it called to me. I wanted a job for my bank account and job skills. I wanted to finish readings early so I could go outside and play. I wanted good grades because 1) personal satisfaction and 2) they look good on paper when I find a place to lay that paper down.
The motivation shifted from your school / some unspoken force wants this from you to I want this for myself for my own reasons.
That internalized drive has made all the difference today. It’s made all the difference before. And it will continue to.
All I need now is to 1) keep this drive through the summer, and more pressingly, 2) immortalize this drive so it doesn’t disappear again next year.