Today has been super productive! In the evening I opened up my room to anybody who wanted a workspace, and go 0 response, but hey. It worked for me!
- crafted and sent 4 emails to organizations in Tucson I’ve worked with before asking for a phone call to discuss potential summer opportunities
- emailed a volunteer coordinator about a position at Atlin Music and Arts Festival, my favorite Canadian music fest!
- spent an hour cleaning my room (dear god it needed it), esp. my sink.
- listened to a podcast on suicide deaths in the Arctic
- got my new phone charger – somehow I came back from SXSWedu with three bases and a cord that didn’t work. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- talked with Julia about a time we could meet to get lunch
- had a heart to heart with Connor over relationships / polyamory / crushes
- went to a Symposium planning session at HQ + stayed after to discuss with Capri ❤
- filed my taxes! cannot wait for that tax return!
- applied for a new passport. was not expecting it to be $130. goodbye, tax return.
- organized all RA funding things – found receipts, submitted expensify, recorded, requested the last of the budget…
- posted this blog entry, a success in its own
- journaled in my beautiful journalllllll
- began my goal matrix on my wall, finally – to celebrate the little wins, and externalize+visualize goals and steps (once #breakitdown and #gapanalysis are applied), I’m writing things on colorful paper and putting them on my wall.
- listened to quality music all day! gotta love that spotify premium. Pogo, Portugal. The Man, Moon Taxi, and now Electric Guest, just listening to their albums. Good good good.
- talked to my dad 😀
- going to bed before 1am. My sleep scedule has been off, but I hope to get it on track. (Actually no that’s a lie – I hope to get readings done the night before at least, so I can stop having to get up at 7am each morning to do them! then I could go to bed a little later, e.g. 12am (extended 1am), and wake up at 8:30.
Overall one of my most productive days lately. As soon as I thought of something, I went and go it done. And kept doing that.
I didn’t get an internship with Minerva this summer, sadly. But I also felt a sense of relief when I heard, that comes from having my freedom restored. There are so many things I want to do this summer. Having a 40 hour/week continuation of school was going to be a little hard.
I feel like I’m also breaking free of what Minerva wants me to do with my time. I’ve spent most of my life in control of much of my time, because I set it up that way. I picked schools that would allow me freedom, and exercised that control. Senior year, I ditched school every Friday and got a job.
Here, I easily spend a substantial portion of my time doing pre-class readings, class, and assignments. Other time goes to Minerva built activities and opportunities.
It’s been a little too easy to lose free will; to let such heavy structure make me forget how to find and work towards my own personal interests.
So, when Minerva announced we’d be cutting ties for the summer… I realized – I’m not doing anything they’ve designed for me. I didn’t get that fancy internship all Minervans are suppose to have. How I spend my summer is 100% in my own hands…
… and I’m relishing the power.
Which I think contributed to this heightened feeling of productivity today. Suddenly, the why –– why apply to internships, to jobs; why finish readings early, why do well on your assignments –– came from me. I wanted an internship because it called to me. I wanted a job for my bank account and job skills. I wanted to finish readings early so I could go outside and play. I wanted good grades because 1) personal satisfaction and 2) they look good on paper when I find a place to lay that paper down.
The motivation shifted from your school / some unspoken force wants this from you to I want this for myself for my own reasons.
That internalized drive has made all the difference today. It’s made all the difference before. And it will continue to.
All I need now is to 1) keep this drive through the summer, and more pressingly, 2) immortalize this drive so it doesn’t disappear again next year.
This has shaped my behavior since I first read it a few years ago. Hope it inspires you too. ❤